There's Not Always A Bright Side.

Hello blog, it has been a long time.
I have been busy, busy out of my mind,
Lazy,
Lazy as i should not be,
But here i am in the mood to blog,
A few things have been going on,
Not particularly good things,
We had a week of holiday which was pretty much...
fuck boring,
And these past few months,
I've been sort of sick,
I'm not sure if you can call it a sickness..
Rather an imitation of a retarded fuck,
I've had a sleeping disorder,
Now i bet you're thinking like, what the fuck that's nothing,
But this is some serious shit,
At first i was thinking to myself that this was just a simple routine fuckup,
So obviously i attempted to sleep early and things,
you know to get your sleeping pattern back on track and stuff,
So i huffed and i puffed and i didn't blow the house down,
Yes that was a three little pigs reference,
Cause i miss my childhood,
Anyways even when i did eventually get to sleep before 12 (whatanachievement)
I would wake up at like 1 and just not feel tired anymore,
Now it was either that happened or i just wouldnt be able to sleep until like 4 or something,
So obviously somethings wrong,
And my mum isn't making it any easier,
I keep telling her my problem and all the times she asks me the same question..
"why don't you try sleeping?"
Like honestly come on..
I got into quite a bit of detail and she took notice,
So she suggested taking me to the doctors,
So just whatever you know,
I somehow knew that the doctor would think like what the fuck is this kid on about?
And i was right,
I told him my problem and he just looked at me,
I've never felt more like a retard before in my life,
And he talked a load of bull for like 30 minutes and somehow got to talking about my career,
So yeah he gave me some cough syrup and Flu tablets to try and get me sleepy,
It's been 3 days and....well let's just say that i'm typing this at 12am,
It's not working.....

I feel sad,
Sad at many things,
Sad for myself in a way,
I probably say this too much,
And everybody will always think i'm overreacting,
But i miss Seb,
I just do...
Nobody will ever know what this friendship was like,
No matter how much i tell them bout it,
I feel sad that i can't be with him through such a tough time,
And i wish the best for him,
He's always busy and i don't get to speak to him much anymore,
Like one time a month nowadays,
Fuckin hell this is getting gay,
But i always wonder what he's up too,
Even though it's none of my business,
This sucks.
One day i'll make it over there,
One faithful day.

I believe that we never really get what we really want, we will always get what we don't want and we force ourselves to want it. It's not exactly a bad thing either.

-Bondy